The Unhappy Bridegroom's Brain

The Unhappy Bridegroom's Brain

As the groom, there's a lot of weight on your shoulders on your wedding day. There are potentially dozens of things that could go wrong. Your bride, especially, wants everything to be just perfect. So, which potential factors trigger the greatest wedding dismay? We've listed them in the order of least worry to greatest worry:

Cummerbund. Neon. Enough said.

Balance of slider hors d'oeuvres to goat cheese-asparagus hors d'oeuvres way off (though you won't say "I told you so")

Accidentally see wife-to-be in her dress a 30 minutes before she walks down aisle

Flower girl trips

Couple that never RSVP'd shows up, unraveling tightly controlled table arrangements

Breaking news that best player on your hometown pro sports team tears ACL the night before, out for season

The band plays "The Hokey Pokey" against your explicit wishes

Howling firetrucks during vows

Wife for next half-century+ somehow forgets to mention your family in her toast

Shrimp allergy rushes mother-in-law to hospital Who knew mother-in-law was allergic to shrimp? (Not even she does, until that first bite)

Pay extra $1,000 to set up a second tent in the event of rain – and it doesn't rain

Drunk stepfather calls wife-to-be by name of ex-college girlfriend of yours he preferred (three times)

Chapel A/C breaks down, 105 outside

Sweating like a pig at the reception

Cold sore ruins wedding photos

Drunk wife, no wedding-night sex

You're marrying the wrong person

Your bride runs off with your best man

What other potential disasters keep you up at night?