How to Ask Someone to the Prom
How to Ask Someone to the Prom
There are butterflies in your stomach, your hands are starting to sweat… You’re about to ask the hottest girl in school to the prom. How you ask her is gonna depend on who you are, how you roll, and how much you know your target… It’s also gonna depend a whole hell of a lot on how well she knows you. Here are three case studies sure to get you a date come prom night. These solutions are all gender neutral… girls can ask boys, boys can ask girls, boys can ask boys, girls can ask girls, groups can ask groups… isn’t it wonderful growing up in the 2010s?
“She doesn’t even know my name!” Relax, she probably does. After all, you have three classes together, and you’ve been going to school together since like the fourth grade. In fact, she probably would really like to get to know you better. To come up with a solid strategy for this scenario, we took a look back at all the teen dramas and romantic comedies from the past four decades, and it’s pretty clear to us that this type of scenario happens all the time (Say Anything, Pretty in Pink, any movie where Jonah Hill gets a super hot girl). But everybody wants to ask her out. Why would she ever go out with somebody like you? For one, because you’re cool as sh*t. For two, you’re creative and you have several months still to build your case. For three, you remember that she loves old black-and-white movies. So here’s your move.
- Be seen around her everyday leading up to the big ask.
- Don’t be creepy.
- Start saying hi to her in the halls.
- Groom yourself!
- Give her a random compliment at least one day a week.
- Ask her a question about herself.
- Hint at your passion for old movies, unicorns, Lindsey Lohan movies (whatever her passion happens to be).
- Make eye contact.
- Lose the Dungeons and Dragons cloak.
- Smile big.
- Try a makeover montage. It works in almost every teen comedy we’ve seen.
- Ask her out. The worst she can do is say no.
You art freaks, band geeks, thespians, and marchers-to-your-own-drummers will like this approach. It’s bold, it’s presumptive, it’s esoteric, it’s creative… and if you pull it off, she might just go out with you. This technique will require a few props and a little help from your friends.
- Find a song she really digs.
- Learn that song forwards and backwards.
- If you’re really good at the saxophone like that dude on The Goldbergs, play her the song.
- If you’re not really good on the saxophone, practice singing the song with your friends.
- Enlist her friends too. Ask them to do your choreography.
- Pimp out your crew with matching tuxedos.
- Practice, practice, practice.
- During passing period, hit play on your MP3, and let the flashmob commence.
- Drop to one knee at the song’s climax.
- Ask her out.
- If you want to save her the embarrassment, you could also just send her a poem you wrote for her. Don’t text it… Go to the post office, pick out nice stationary, lick a stamp and put it in the mail.
- You suck at poetry, guess you’re gonna have to fall back to the tried-and-true “Prom? (circle yes or no) note.”
The Future Leaders of America
You know who you are. 4.0 GPA, cool car, cool hair, cool friends. You are it, without even knowing what it is. But you want to get somebody that doesn’t care about it (not one iota). So you better think back to your Economics class and take some lessons from the free market.
- Know your audience. It works for marketing Nike sneakers, it can work for you, too.
- Build a brand pyramid. What is your true value? At the base of a brand pyramid, you put your attributes (cool car, cool friends, cool everything). Many people stop here, but it pays to build to the top. Next up is the benefits of those attributes (a cool car means you’ll roll up to the prom in style, cool friends means the after-prom will be kicking)… you get the picture. Finally, at the top of the pyramid is your value or emotional appeal. And even though you are one of the cool kids, your emotional value isn’t cool. Your emotional value is fun. You are a fun person, and that’s what your date is gonna get out of it.
- Throw the brand pyramid out and get to know the person you want to ask out. Sit next to them in class. Make fun of the teacher. Walk with her to her next class (even if you’re not going that way).
- And like all the others, this one ends with a simple. Will you go with me to prom? I think it’d be fun.
We have like a super good internet connection, so we looked up some more prom resources for you from across the interweb.
- Seventeen Adorable Ways to Ask Someone to Prom. We thought the “Post-it-Proposal” was the best.
- The 20 Best Promposals or Homecoming Invites of 2014. Instagram was huge back then!
- Popsugar. How to Ask a Girl to Prom. Whole new take on American Pie.
- Buzzfeed. Adorable animals and anything involving food also seem to work.
- Twerk-Proposal. Please no!
Even More Resources (Not From the Interweb)
We sat down and put on our thinking caps to come up with ten outrageous ideas for 2016. Here you go. We want to see these on instagram.
- The Bowie Ziggy Stardust Proposal. Not sure what this would look like, but we want to see it.
- Superbowl halftime ad. Sure, it’ll cost $4 million, but we think she’s worth it.
- Ask her Dad if it’s OK. Haha, just kidding. What is this, the 1950s?
- Fill her car with popcorn. If she agrees to go with you, you’ll clean it out.
- During your basketball game. You’re a benchwarmer anyway.
- Crowdsourced (get everybody in school to vote that she should go with you to the prom). Nothing like peer pressure.
- Lower the wall in your Clash of Clans to let her join your tribe.
- Top Gun Maverick and Goose volleyball scene.
- Anything involving Claymation.
- Turns out your co-conspirator (the girl with the ponytail and glasses that’s a smoking hot babe once she takes her glasses off) is the girl for you after all.